If Santa Claus Hired a Quality Manager
Now that the holiday season is upon us, my mind turns to gift buying, parties, overindulgence, and of course, Santa Claus and his North Pole operations. We know that Santa does an incredible job of delivering scores of gifts to good children all over the world. But is he doing this in an ISO QMS-prescribed manner? And if not, what 10 things would most likely be changed if he were to hire a quality manager?
 |
1. The naughty list would need to be a controlled document with a defined process for approval and distribution.
2. An ISO 9001-approved standard stocking would need to be specified for size, material, and durability to facilitate faster present distribution. To develop this, a working team would be established to collate the views of interested parties before a draft project scope could be determined so that a technical committee could be convened. A projected completion date of September 2027 would be set (although subject to change). The first committee meeting would be held in Hawaii.
3. Following a time-and-motion study, it would be ascertained that present distribution would be far more efficient if performed throughout the year rather than during a single night. The United Elf Workers Union would need to be contacted to begin contract negotiations for a change in employment terms.
4. The North Pole purchasing dept. would be tasked with evaluating the potential cost savings of offshoring some assembly operations to other countries. Although the current payment terms of milk and cookies would be a challenge, it's one currently considered to have a reasonable probability of achieving.
5. All of the children's letters delivered to Santa would need to undergo a formal contract review procedure. Both the stated requests and the hinted-at wishes from the children would need to be evaluated, and a record of the manufacturing feasibility would need to be established prior to any commitment to supply the gifts.
6. Following a Six Sigma project in the packaging and shipping department, all gifts would be wrapped in standard-issue brown paper and would need to fit in a 10 ft × 12 ft × 8 ft box to increase throughput and maximize space utilization in the sleigh.
7. Following the commissioning of a third-party risk analysis team concerning chimney descents, Santa Claus would be required to wear appropriate personal protection equipment (PPE), e.g., a hard hat and steel-toe boots. Festive-colored adornments would be permissible, as long as they were pre-approved by the health and safety team.
8. The entire present distribution process would need to be overhauled to allow for real-time tracking and performance measurement. For the short term, this would involve adding a barcode label to every gift, and establishing a team to ascertain the feasibility of a radio frequency identification (RFID) system for the mid- to long-term.
9. Santa's sleigh would be grounded until it could be evaluated by the FAA for airworthiness. A complete sleigh-design package would need to be submitted to the FAA for review, prior to the start of the airworthiness trials.
Enviado desde mi iPad
Comentarios